Thursday, November 5, 2015

This beauty that houses the Lord.

I used the word, "vision."
And I felt so stupid.
I felt like some wacko who believes aliens are walking among us and going to take over the world.
Like I see and talk to ghosts.
Like I was describing a foreign concept.
Like I was pressured to describe it differently;
Downplay how powerful and real my experience was;
Downplay how significant the object of your question is to me.
Because I'm afraid.
Afraid of what I'll look like.
Afraid of how others will see me.
Afraid of what they'll think.
Afraid they won't understand.
Afraid I'll be misunderstood.
Afraid I'll be identified as a Christian;
which means I'll be identified as a judgmental, bible pushing Jesus freak.
That's not me.
I love Jesus.
But it's real; raw; genuine.
It's beautiful.
It's different.
It's new.
It's not weird; it's beautiful.
I don't want to be misunderstood.
But I can't keep risking shutting up what's inside of me;
Cutting off a world that is so desparately hungry.
Whether they yet know they are hungry or not.
They are worth the risk.
The becoming of the Bride is worth the risk.
If I am perceived as weird and foreign;
if I'm misunderstood;
May the oddity that lingers be an opportunity for another to think on the Lord.
A seed of thought.
Not return void.
I pray they ask another question.
I pray they open another opportunity to expand my bravery.
I pray I see it.
I pray they allow me another chance to practice expressing my heart where Jesus and our beautiful Father reside.
I pray they knock;
Open my door;
And see.
May I learn to respond to hunger with the beauty that is me.
This beauty that houses the Lord.

No comments:

Post a Comment