Extreme-me. Extreme-you.

There are times when we dwell in a place that we know is not us.

And there are times when we reawaken to who we know we are;

Come alive again to ourselves.

And sometimes in those moments;

We become so alive to ourselves that we are extremes of ourselves.

It’s in the extremes that we can often walk away overly aware of how extreme-us missed the mark.

Unintentionally.

If not careful;

We will look at our having missed the mark and

We will declare ourselves as all of the negative:

Stupid.

Unwise.

Immature.

That paining after-the-fact thought, "What. Was. I. Thinking?"

Those moments when we did everything we thought to be right.

But leave feeling like we got it all wrong.

Feeling not good enough;

Because it was not for lack of trying.

Maybe we should cut off this extreme.

Be different.

Be more of something else.

And Father whispers:

Pay attention to how you are seeing.

See with your heart.

Because what I see—

It is beautiful.

I see a good and beautiful heart.

This negative you are seeing is simply your unawareness of need for others to balance you.

Be extreme-you.

And be extreme-you in the presence and awareness of your brothers and sisters who balance.

In your extreme-you, connect and love and be vulnerable and get close;

And let your brother and sister extreme-them assess with wisdom and discernment the moment to shift where shift is needed.

You don’t need to be different.

You don’t need to be more of something else.

You need to be extreme-you;

Extreme-you who is ever aware of the need of your extreme-brother and extreme-sister.

We must shift in each other's balance.

Trusting both each other and ourselves to harmonize in extremes. 

We can’t keep seeing each other’s extremes as something to be shaved off.

We can’t keep seeing each other’s extremes as offensive to our extremes.

We must learn how to operate with them together.

When the Lord tells me He trusts my heart;

He is really saying He trusts OUR heart.

Because in unity with my brothers and sisters, any gaps in my heart—
Are filled.

Because in unity with my brothers and sisters, any areas in me that are still maturing—

Are filled.

--If I let them be filled.

--If I let you balance me.
--If I let myself learn how to operate as extreme-me in the presence of all extreme-you.

He is...Rest

You have no idea what true Rest is.

You think it's a break from work;

A time to do nothing;

A time to sit;

Relax;

A break from the busyness;

A break from the stress;

From the constant go.

Only soon to discover--

You're bored.

There's not enough to do.

What do you do when there's nothing to do?

All the sudden--

An intentional decision "to rest" 

Leads to just a different form of unrest.

Your soul--

Left, again, unsatisfied.

So is Rest found in your doing?

So is Rest found in your not doing?

Yes.

Yes.

You sit and do nothing with Rest.

You work your 80 hour week with Rest.

Everything.

Always.

Rest.

You've done this before.

And I patiently wait for you to awaken to Me here.

I know you will.

You can only chase after fulfillment elsewhere for so long;

Until you realize it's in Me.

It's always in Me.

You'll be back.

You're hungry.

Come. 

You're thirsty.

Come.

Come to the Waters.

Come. Buy. Eat.

You know better than to spend money on what is not Bread.

You know better than to labor on what does not satisfy.

Listen.

Do you hear that?

Do you hear Me?

Listen.

Listen to Me.

Eat what is good.

And your soul will delight. 

Your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Get close to Me.

Stop trying to strategize your way out of this.
Or into this.
Planning.
Self-talk.
Reward system.
They all sound well and good.
Spiritual even.
But when they fail they bring you back around to disappointment.
To frustration.
To not being good enough.
To demotivation.
And I hate to see you sitting in that.
There's a better way.

You know this.
You've done this before.
Remember?
Remember when you had not yet overcome that past behavior?
Remember when you would try this method and that method?
Remember the boundaries you would set up for yourself?
Remember how time and again that failed?
Remember how you stopped trying to control behavior?
Remember how you began to just be...with Me.
Learning Me.
Still stumbling along the way.
But beautifully stumbling.
Stumbling less and less
as being in My presence began to sync your heartbeat with Mine.
Because it was never about behavior management.
The source of the problem is never the behavior.
The source is always not enough face-time with Me.
The source is not knowing My heart.
The source is distance.
Get close to Me.
Get close.
And those behaviors will begin to no longer fit.
You won't have to try to stop them.
You will, instead, not want them.
Get close to Me.
Get close.
And eventually you won't have to try to be something you want to be.
All of Me in you will simply burst forth.
More and more.
You won't be able to hold it in if you wanted to.
That's what a heart close to Mine looks like.
Get close to Me.
Get close.
Get so close.
Soak Me in.
Wake up.
With an empty stomach.
Eyes set on the buffet before you.
And run to be the first in line to fill your plate.
Get close to Me.
Get close.
It's simple.
Get close to Me.

Miracles

Among those who believe:

I don't think miracles were meant to be these grand events that we stand in awe over. 
I think they were meant to take care of a natural need so that we could move on to focus on higher things; 
on bigger things. 
They were meant to provide, as needed, while we are expanding. 
So we can expand. 

Miracles are easy. 

Jesus didn't have to do much of anything and sometimes literally nothing and they just happened. 

Have faith and let them happen so we can tackle the bigger things of the kingdom. 

Just like the disciples He must train us into this.

He must train us into miracles being the norm. 

Being easy.

And sometimes as we are learning we may hear Him encourage us forward,

"Oh you of little faith." 

And we will be reminded that we need not worry about the natural things.

For He provides. 

Naturally and miraculously. 

However needed.

We can and must move on and beyond. 

We must expand. 

There is so much more land to occupy.

Why do you worry?  

About what you will wear;

what you will eat;

what you will drink.

Oh you of little faith.

Your Father is with you.

Peter sees Jesus on the water.

Steps out of the boat.

Walks on the water.

Then begins to sink.

Oh you of little faith.

Your Father is with you.

Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Oh crap, does that mean we should have brought bread with us?

Oh you of little faith.

Did I not just miraculously feed the 5 thousand?

Did I not just miraculously feed the 4 thousand?

And you are still worried about not having brought bread with you?

Oh you of little faith.

Your Father is with you.

Is your faith for the provision of these natural things not yet solidified in Him? 

Rather, concern yourselves with advancement of the kingdom.

With guarding against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees. 

Jesus, my child has a demon.

Your disciples could not cast it out.

Oh unbelieving and perverse generation.

How long shall I stay with you?

Oh you of little faith. 

With even the faith of a mustard seed,

you could tell this mountain to move.

And it would move.

These things are simple, my disciples.

You must learn them.

These things can no longer stand in the way.

We have bigger things to do.

Places to go.

Land to occupy.

We do not move the mountain for an awe factor among believers.

We move it because it's in the way.

The awe factor is in the work done after the mountain has been moved. 

So yes;

Have faith.

Move mountains.

Heal the sick.

Walk on water.

Feed thousands with a few loaves and fish.

And then dive deeper into the kingdom.

Advance the kingdom.

Woo hearts with My heart.

Love with My Love.

Here are the miracles I long to be among you.

Here are the miracles I long for you to see; to be.

Feelings

Feelings.

We all have them.

They come; they go.

High; low.

Good; bad.

Happy; sad.

Fulfilling; draining.

Fleeting feelings; persistent feelings.

Feelings that confirm and remind us who we are;

And feelings that try to convince us otherwise.

And if we try and might them to come and go as we desire

--they resist our efforts ever more strongly.

We fear if we let them stay

--they will eat us alive.

--they will bring us deeper into the pit we already dwell in.

But maybe;

Maybe if we let them stay;

Maybe if we let them stay, 

but don’t give them the floor;

Maybe if we let them stay, 

but don’t give them room to influence our responses;

Maybe if we let them stay, 

while we rest in Him;

…we will begin to reign.

…we will begin to rule our hearts.

Joy and peace are not dependent on our situation.

“How we are doing” is not dependent on how we are feeling.

Maybe if we let them stay, 

but don’t let them rule. 

Maybe if we live and operate out of who we are, 

right where we are, 

in the midst of the feelings 

(that are opposite of our identity);

Maybe we will learn their place and role.

Maybe we can allow them to teach us; 

mature us.

Maybe we can allow them to expand our awareness of ourselves; 

and of others; 

and of the Lord.

Maybe if we let them stay, 

we’ll find they won’t stay as long.

We’ll find that they get bored; 

starved; 

and that they move on.

We’ll find that they get frustrated and no longer fit.

We’ll find that their presence, 

or lack of presence,

Has no bearing on us.

No bearing on who we are.

No bearing on who others are.

No bearing on who the Lord is.

I don’t want to just make them go away.

I want to live abundantly amidst them;

I want to be taught; 

to be matured.

Nothing wasted; 

not even feelings.

Owl & Crown

Inside-- an empty room.

Windows filled with thick smoke.

Everything outside the room-- burning.

Inside-- it's just me and Him.

No more than a foot and a half tall.

Dark, perfect feathers.

Confident and bold stature. 

Piercing eyes.

Cocked head;

Intentional, slow, soft steps.

He looks at me.

Circles me.

Slowly.

Keeping His eyes on me.

My body turns

--as He circles behind me and I follow His gaze.

I'm not scared.

I'm not intimidated.

But I do feel the authority.

I do know the weight that He carries.

And my attention responds accordingly.

Crown upon His head.

He takes His crown off.

Places the crown on My head.

Spreads His wings out 

to the left and to the right.

Bows His head to the ground.

This is weighty.

He begins to climb upon My arm.

Talons steadying His ascent to My shoulder.

He turns to face forward as I am.

Side by side.

Next to Me.

Claiming Me.

His vision.

My vision.

Our vision.

We walk over to the window.

The smoke that once blocked all sight;

slowly begins to clear.

We gaze at the land outside.

Everything is burnt.

And it's beautiful.

It's Ours.

And already small buds and spots of green 

are beginning to appear in various places.

Son--this land is Your land.

This land is Our land.

Where I go.

He goes.

We go.

The crown is on My head.

I carry the authority.

He trusts Me.

May I not walk lightly.

I am...worth possessing

I've been here before.
So aware of my flaws,
that I almost live in those flaws in a place of constant awareness.
Oh that I would be more aware of the treasure in me.
So aware of my value,
That I would live in constant awareness of that treasure.
That I would stop seeing myself as a burden to you.
But as heavy valuable gold worth possessing.
I am worth your bearing with me in this season.
I am worth your discipline.  
I am worth your patience.
I am worth your love.
I am worth your seeing Him in me along the way.
Please;
Don't abandon me.
Don't discard of me among the rugged stones to be trampled on.
I belong in the lavish palaces along with the other sparkling gems.
And I'll make my way back there.
Leave the door unlocked.
Leave the window open.
Trust the Father with me.
Trust that He has rooted Himself in my heart.
And that He's just cleaning house;
spraying His perfume in every nook and cranny until the aroma never leaves.
Trust Him with me.
Trust that I am learning.
Trust that I am forward steady;
despite what my dramatic expressions may indicate.
I am worth it.
I am so worth it.
heavy. valuable. gold. --worth possessing.