Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I AM CREATIVE...

Disclaimer:  I end many of my sentences in prepositions.  From my understanding, this is not the proper way of doing things.  That being said, I have no intention of addressing this issue, so...that's just something you English Lovers are just going to have to deal with.  (haha, I did that one on purpose.)


Multiplying fractions. Factoring. Adding complex numbers.  Simplifying radicals.  You know, stuff people use everyday ;)   This is what my days consist of.  I enjoy it...thoroughly.  Do the students?  Well, seeing that I have 1 out of about 20 students coming to see me (those students that are REQUIRED to come see), I'd say the answer is no.  Why?  Am I not charming enough?  Do I smell?  I don't want to toot my own horn, but *toot toot*...I am delightfully charming, good smelling AND MORE.

No, but seriously, I've interacted with these students, I know many of their backgrounds, I see their attitudes...they just. don't. care.  Math doesn't matter to them.  And can you blame them?  When was the last time you needed to factor?

Yes, it's more than that.  Learning algebra isn't just for those times in life (that may be far and few between) when you need to actually use it.  It produces a valuable way of thinking and can be a building block to something you actually do care about, it can help with the practical aspects of math such as finances and bla bla bla.  I get that.  I preach that.  I LOVE that.  But for most students, that's not cutting it.  How do I make math matter?  Does it matter?  Is it good for the average person to know how to factor?

I've been in college.  It's awfully hard to see past that 4 (hopefully only 4) year time period and into the future where your current decisions affect what you will do, who you will be, and the obstacles and time it takes to get there.  I understand that it is hard for students to connect this current math class to the larger picture.

...So what am I getting at?  Well I'm reading "The Element" by Ken Robinson.  I was introduced to a little video clip of him months ago where he talked about how schools are killing creativity.  If you haven't seen it take some time to go watch it.  He has a lovely accent so you'll be easily captivated for a full 20 min.

Ken Robinson "Do Schools Kill Creativity?"

I was intrigued.  I wanted more.  Reading this book, I've seen so many different examples of people who have been viewed as the kid who was lazy, a slacker, didn't care, and would probably never succeed in life.  In all of these examples, once the kid (or later adult) understood what it was that was their "element," the thing that they were good at and thrived at and had passion for, once they understood what that was and pushed passed whatever opinions said they'd never make it, they thrived.  They excelled.  And in these examples, they are powerful, influential, and famous.  Many children are pressured to be something they are not.  Pressured to be a lawyer when all they want to do is write.  Pressured to choose a stable path for their future, when all they want to do is express themselves in the way that makes the most sense to them.  Once free to be themselves, they became what most of us only dream of. Ken puts it this way:

"And the fact is the average office worker probably does have more financial security than the average jazz trumpeter.  But it is difficult to feel accomplished when you're not accomplishing something that matters to you.  Doing something 'for your own good' is rarely for your own good if it causes you to be less than who you really are."

I often think about my students.  I ask them their first day of class what their passion is.  What would they do if they could do anything.  I want them to know that I care about who they really are, not just about teaching them math (especially when for most of them, math is the last thing they want to think about). I want to know this so I can encourage them in that thing that is truly them, in what they are truly interested in.  But many students don't know really know what they're passionate about.

I keep thinking about one student in particular, we'll call him "Brandon."  The first thing I remember about Brandon is how when I asked him what he would do if he could do anything, he said he'd be a secret agent. First thoughts through my mind:  Ok jokester. I'm not saying people can't truly want to be secret agents, but to keep this in perspective: when I was trying to remember his name, he told me a fake name instead.  Also, I later found out that he is known for lying straight to your face (at least about academic things anyways).  But I didn't know, that could have been that boy's life long dream and I wasn't about to be a dream crusher so feeling kind of dumb at believing a perhaps obvious lie I said, "That's awesome!  Like with the FBI?  Any particular location?"  And on and on I went.  This was my first encounter with Brandon.  My later encounters?  Well, not too many encounters to be honest.  He came to my workshops a bit in the beginning but haven't seen him for the past 8 or so weeks.  And even when he did come, he was physically present but mentally absent.  Failing class, I am confident Brandon is perfectly capable of an A.  No lie.  And I wouldn't say that for all students.  And sadly this is not just a math class dilemma.  Why does he not care?  Why does this not matter to him?  I've come to see him as "the slacker."  I've actually been concerned about his future and what's going to happen to him.  I've been concerned, because he's not been motivated academically.  But Ken's got me thinking...Should I be concerned that he's not coming to class and that he's not trying and that he's failing?  Or should I be concerned that perhaps Brandon is yet another student that's heart is elsewhere and his creativity is being squandered?

And I've tried to connect with not only Brandon but other students in an area besides math.  This was why I had goal setting workshops.  Goal setting workshops in my mind were just an excuse to get students excited and motivated about life and who they are, not about getting them to figure out  how they could better plan for success in college and in their math class.  But for Brandon, this activity was not something of interest.  More of a joke.

So I wonder, what does he really want to do?  Does he really want to be secret agent?  What is he really good at?  Are there other things going on at home?  Is he expected to be one thing when he knows he's another?  Is there something holding him back from freedom to be who he really is?  I am deeply saddened to know that students are passing by me every day headed for a future that was never truly their heart, but the heart of another or rather an obligation placed on them by the way society operates.

Don't get me wrong, there is value in stability and planning for a career that will provide for you as a result of you doing your part and God doing his.  But since when did our dreams have to leave the picture?  Since when did we have to throw what makes us excited out the window in order to make sure that we are going to be able to eat and live and make it in the future?  Are the two mutually exclusive?

I love my job.  I don't see myself leaving anytime soon.  I didn't know what I was looking for, but as soon as I arrived here, I knew this was where I wanted to be.  There is only one small thing wrong with my job, and that's that I feel like it is killing creativity (not for all, but for some).  It is reinforcing what education has been telling students for far too long:  If you are not smart in these subjects (math included), then you'll never succeed and you won't be as good as you need to be.  If you go after your dreams and not math and these more "stable" subjects, you won't get a job.  And though there are seeds of truth in those statements, there are (in my opinion) far bigger lies.  So though I dislike this part of my job where I squander their creativity, I think it important that someone who enjoys math and does do math everyday, encourage students in the thing THEY enjoy.  Encourage students in what's in THEIR heart.  I feel like that's all I can do, but I want to believe that's what I can do.  (You tracking?)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I AM JUST BEAUTIFUL ME...

Every once in a while I discover a new song and spend about several hours straight listening to that song over and over.  Well, it's almost 8pm, I sat down at 7pm, and I don't intend switching songs until at least 9pm.  You do that math.  Ok, I'll do the math...that would be 2 hrs.  (I don't want to discourage any of you nonmath-type from the get-go.)

Tonight's selection...Miss Selena Gomez with "Who Says."  It's songs like this that makes me wish I had an 8 year old daughter.  Don't worry future daughter, I will most certainly force you to listen to this.  It's one of those songs where you're like, YES, that's SO true.  It's one of those songs where you can see seeds of the Kingdom.  Now before you go listening to this song and pointing out every line that you disagree with and wondering what in the world I was thinking, know that I haven't considered EVERY aspect of this song.  I am just saying the heart of this song has some really good stuff.  Check it out...I recommend listening to the song while you read the lyrics.  She puts some little "nana's" in there that are a fun little musical addition =)

 Listen to Song Here...



___________________________________________________________________________

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

You made me insecure.
Told me I wasn't good enough.

But who are you to judge,
When you're a diamond in the rough.
I'm sure you got some things,
You'd like to change about yourself.
But when it comes to me,
I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

I'm no beauty queen,
I'm just beautiful me.

[You've got every right,
To a beautiful life.]


WHO SAYS?
WHO SAYS you're not perfect?
WHO SAYS you're not worth it?
WHO SAYS you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me,
That's the price of beauty.

WHO SAYS you're not pretty?
WHO SAYS you're not beautiful?
WHO SAYS?


It's such a funny thing,
How nothing's funny when it's you.
You tell 'em what you mean,
But they keep whiting out the truth.

[It's like a work of art,
That never gets to see the light .
Keep you beneath the stars,
Won't let you touch the sky.]



I'm no beauty queen,
I'm just beautiful me. 

[You've got every right,
To a beautiful life.]
 


WHO SAYS?
WHO SAYS you're not perfect?
WHO SAYS you're not worth it?
WHO SAYS you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me,
That's the price of beauty.

WHO SAYS you're not pretty?
WHO SAYS you're not beautiful?
WHO SAYS?

WHO SAYS you're not star potential?
WHO SAYS you're not presidential?
WHO SAYS you can't be in movies?
Listen to me, listen to me...
WHO SAYS you don't pass the test?
WHO SAYS you can't be the best?
WHO SAID, WHO SAID...?
Won't you tell me WHO SAID that?
WHO SAID?  
___________________________________________________________________________


If I'm honest...there are certainly days when I don't feel good enough.  When I don't feel worth it.  But I'm glad to know that feelings are not always truth.  Praise God.  How many times are we the ones saying these things to ourselves?  Telling ourselves we aren't worth it.  Telling ourselves we're not good enough.  Telling ourselves we're not beautiful (whether inside or out).  "WHO SAID?"...certainly wasn't the Father.  We need to listen to the Truth.  

I love the emphasis on who we are in this song.  I hope to daily reinforce the heart of this message in the life of the young ladies I encounter.  You too future daughter.  I'd say more, but I think Selena and the text modifications speak for themselves. 


So Miss Selena, thanks for downloading some Kingdom today.  
Lesson learned.  
I am just beautiful me.